Numbers jokes
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
I want your weight, not your phone number.
I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.