Numbers jokes

What would a clock look like with no numbers?

Timeless!

Why did Michael Jackson die?

Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.

Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.

At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.

I want your weight, not your phone number.

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Me: Truth or dare?

Crush: Dare.

Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.

Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.

Me: Ok, what is your phone number?

I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.

Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)

And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”

This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.