Numbers jokes
What’s 1+1?? The number of parents orphans don’t have!
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
I want your weight, not your phone number.
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.
This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.