Numbers jokes

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.

Me: Truth or dare?

Crush: Dare.

Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.

Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.

Me: Ok, what is your phone number?

I want your weight, not your phone number.

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”

Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.

Bobby had 54 dicks (54).

He took 33 pills a month (5433).

Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).

(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.

I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.

There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.