Numbers jokes

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

What would a clock look like with no numbers?

Timeless!

Why did Michael Jackson die?

Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.

Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”

This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.

Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.

At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"