Numbers jokes

What would a clock look like with no numbers?

Timeless!

Why did Michael Jackson die?

Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.

Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.

At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)

Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

I want your weight, not your phone number.

What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”

This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Me: Truth or dare?

Crush: Dare.

Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.

Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.

Me: Ok, what is your phone number?

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't even.