Numbers jokes
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
I want your weight, not your phone number.