Numbers jokes
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Memes
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.
I want your weight, not your phone number.
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)