Numbers jokes

There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.

I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.

Why is there no phone in China?

Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.

Why was 10 scared?

Because 9/11 came flying in.

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9!!!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

Your mama so white that her first number was 911.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.

Do you know why 10 was scared? Because he was between 9/11.

You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

How many letters are in the English Alphabet?

Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.

A lot of things changed when I got my girlfriend pregnant: my name, my address, and my phone number.

If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"