Numbers jokes
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
I want your weight, not your phone number.
I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.
Now I'm terrified of airports.
Why is there no phone in China?
Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.
Why was 10 scared?
Because 9/11 came flying in.
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9!!!
Your mama so white that her first number was 911.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
Do you know why 10 was scared? Because he was between 9/11.
You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"