Now jokes

"Come on now, gay jokes aren't funny."

What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now?

When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.

Where are you right now?

Looking at a fake joke? You are a waste of time and space.

Why did 10 run away?

Now it's 8, 9/11.

As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.

Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.

I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.

Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.

On a winter day many play.

Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.

Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?

Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.

I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!

You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.

Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

He entered (kindergarten) class. The teacher said, "Luce, start for us and say the alphabet." He said, "A B C D E F G H I J K *just kidding* L M N O." Laugh my nose off. The teacher said, "Go to the office right now, young man!" I don't understand, he just said jokes to the teacher, lmao :D

I slit my wrist and said, "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" So I did it again, but with a knife and said, "NOW *THAT'S* A LOT OF DAMAGE!" I then put watertight Flex Seal on the wound, and it didn't seal.

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

What did the Titanic say to the people as it went down?

"I now nominate you to the ice bucket challenge!"

Hey woah man, and Alya how are you guys? Oh and hbu jk master? How is life right now? Is it hard? You wanna talk?

🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.

No, not like you can ketchup!

So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.

But don't worry, he is all right now.

A man lost his left arm.

He's all right now.