Now jokes
Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.
Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.
"Aren't you going back home now?"
"No, I am going back home."
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
Yo, edgeline go so far back that I can now mow a lawn perfectly.
Memes
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
"Na na na na now na na na na now."
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
My peepee was big, now it's small.
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"
🇻🇪 Finally, I am a trillionaire. Now I can buy bread.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*