Now jokes

Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:

"The doctor has now sent me the bill."

"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"

A house has a crack. A guy covers it with Plaster of Paris.\n\nHouse: "Where the heck am I supposed to do my shit now?"

Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.

It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.

Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!

I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.

Why do people hate Velma now?

Because she joined the Dark Side.

Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?

Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.

Laugh now.

When you see your mom.

Me: bruh

Her: Are you serious right now bro?

Me: Yeah no shit.

Her: *slaps me*

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.

That’s like 20 years from now, I said.

He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.

You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!

Craig's name is now Craig William Duncan "Froo."

Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"

When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.

The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.

The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.

Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!

And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*

A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.

Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?

Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.

Store owner: But still, why?

Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.

Store owner: Oh, I get it now!

My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?

Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.

Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.

Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-

Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.

Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?