Toast is like parents
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat
You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: seeing others happy Doctor : ok so what makes you happy? Me: seeing stupid people in misery or agony Doctor: Well that's rather sadistic. Me: well statistically one in two doctors have fingerd a child... Doctor: do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy? Me: there's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
3 people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free".
There is nothing funnier than my life (Evan 2020)
They say Jesus walked on water. That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg. P1: Why did the chicken cross the road? P2: To get to the other side DUH?!? P1: No dumbass, its to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me). P2: Holy shitr u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
a priest sees a man about to commit suicide the man says "I have nothing to live for here I will die go to heaven and get 72 virgins" then the priest says "no need for this I will take you to the local elementary school"
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
What kind of pizza did the twin towers order.Nothing it was just plane.
cool people i can do anything normal people can do nothing
whats the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11...nothing there both crumbled
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing because it was not an airplane strip but a tower.
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says “Go and lock the door first...”
Magician..." I am the greatest magician in the whole world... look now you see the rabbit in the hat and now it is gone!...Redneck girl..."That`s nothing my dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple hours!"...
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk silly.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange." So I replied, "No it doesn't."
Chrome turns you into chrome but there is a chrome back bling and it does nothing to you
