Nothing

Nothing jokes

Blow job

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

Giraffe

Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!

Orphan

"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"

Friend

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

Empire

No one:

Nothing:

Not a single f***ing soul:

Spanish Empire: DING DONG YOUR RELIGION IS WRONG!

Cheese

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie!

Hare

Nothing lasts long these days!

As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"

Hobo

Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing, why?

Zozo the hobo is a hobo, remember? He doesn’t have any money.

Food

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

Difference

What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.

Alzheimer's

Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.

Dad

What did the dad say to the kid?

Nothing, he went to get the milk.

Cancer

What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?

Nothing, they both stain.