Nothing jokes

Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?

9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.

What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.

What's the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11... nothing, they're both crumbled.

Cool people: I can do anything.

Normal people: I can do nothing.

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.

Nothing much, I just decided to go home.

Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

What did a tree say to the tomato?

Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.

A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."

So I replied, "No, it doesn't."

What's the difference between your mom and a troll?

Nothing, they both look the same.

What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?

Nothing, they both crashed.

You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!

Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.

Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?

A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!