Nothing jokes

What do orphans do after they win a game?

Nothing, they have no one to play games with.

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!

What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.

I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.

I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.

What did the orphan do when he got punched?

Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)

An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.

The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.

I finally know why my brain doesn't work!

On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.

What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing...

What is the difference between an orphan and a homeless person? Nothing, haha.

A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.

To not be outdone, the blond retorts:

"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"

Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.

Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!

Llama: What's your damn problem?

Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.

But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.

So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!

Why do Inbred White Trash Racists talk so much shit?

Answer: Because deep down inside, they KNOW that they are nothing but PATHETIC LOSERS!

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

What's the difference between a Black person and a White person? Nothing, are you racist?

What do you call a dog without legs?

Nothing, it won't come either way.

Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?

Her: What?

Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.

What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?

Nothing.

Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.

Here are some skeleton jokes.

You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.

If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.

I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.

I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.

I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!

I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.

I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.

Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!