Guy asked me what I do for a living. Now I'm not old enough to get a job so I said nothing. He asked me again so I said, "Your wife" The guy goes to slap me but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
What's The Difference Between A Rubber And Micheal Jackson? Nothing, Kids Tounch Them Both.
what did the egg say to the other egg? Nothing, they cant talk
What did Stevie wonder see when he got Murdered
Nothing
what is the difference between a guy with cancer and the twin towers?
nothing they both fell
What's the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing they are both just memories
i was exited to watch fast and furious because of Dom Toretto then i realised family is nothing to me cause im an orphan
Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying. My friend: what’s wrong? Me: nothing its just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel sutherlands wrist Nothing they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades
What's the difference between a drill and a priest? Nothing they both like screwing stuff!
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. ùshe told me that the was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening
put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing they both use the force to get what they want.
What can Michael Jackson eat In his coffin ⚰️? Nothing only brown bread what they call it 😂😂
I once dated a Math teacher,, it turned out she was nothing but problems
What do you do if you see a indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of indian culture
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
