Nothing jokes
I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...
She said nothing.
What is green and looks like a school bus?
A school bus.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?
A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?
Nothing, they both crashed.
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
What did the orphan do when he got punched?
Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.