Nothing jokes
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...
She said nothing.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
What is green and looks like a school bus?
A school bus.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.
What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?
Nothing, they both can’t breathe.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
What's the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11... nothing, they're both crumbled.
Cool people: I can do anything.
Normal people: I can do nothing.
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."