Not jokes

What is the difference between a human and a tree?

A tree cannot walk, and a human can walk.

I'm tired of seeing Mal's joke the second I open up the site. It's not a bad joke. I'm just tired of it.

A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."

How did Sally die?

She got shot.

How? She could not run away.

What do you call a bad pun?

The pun is not punny!

If nine is a number, then why on Earth is not "ja" a number?

All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.

They run and play along the streets of Gold.

Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...

Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.

There were 10 cats on a boat. 1 jumped off. How many were left? I DO NOT KNOW.

There was none left. They were all a bunch of copycats.

What did A say to Y?

"You cannot be alpha like me." :)

Y said, "Why? (Y)"

Why did the skeleton not go to prom?

He had no body to go with. XD

Do not trust atoms! They make up everything.

What time is it when you cannot do anything?

You should watch Ryan ToysReview because he's not mean; he's a very nice boy.

Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.

But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.

I wrote a few jokes:

What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.

Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.

What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.

You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.

But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.

And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.

Any singular person who makes fun of the Chinese in any of these posts is deemed a 他妈的傻逼.

Joke not up for debate.

62 is not just any number, as it so happens to be my height, 6'2", just as 25 is my age on Facebook.

You're not my dad.

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.