Not jokes

Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.

Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.

Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!

Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!

Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.

Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!

Students: No, that's not funny!

Student: SHUT UP!

Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.

One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"

The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."

The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"

The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."

Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"

The not so smart Indian replies,

"Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."

Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

What is the difference between the snow ❄️ and sun 🌞? Snow is slippery, and the other kind 🧒 of weather is not slippery.

Abortion is not a joke.

I am sorry, but the input "Fuck" is not sufficient to generate a joke. I need more content to work with to create a humorous narrative or pun.

The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.

During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!

Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿

What is it called if your mom does not make it to your birth?...

An abortion.

So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

My name is Mariah Carly Brown, and I am an orphan, and what do I say about your jokes that are not funny... STOP THEM!

Dark humor is mean! All day I go to see all the jokes I find, and I see "Orphan jokes."

What kind of sick person likes that kind of joke? By the way, it is not a question. I have 3 twin sisters! Lariah, Kariah, and Iariah! Iariah starts with an i! So stop the jokes, please!

What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?

Diabetes.

You should watch Ryan ToysReview because he's not mean; he's a very nice boy.

A funny joke is not funny after laughing because then it becomes a porn hub.

Q: What gun does Africa not have?

A: A water gun.

I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.

Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.

What do you call an orphan who can't get 5 stars on GTA?

Not wanted.

When men watch football but not the women's version maybe there.

Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?

Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.