Not jokes
Jokes are like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Why do orphans not know Dom Toretto?
Dom Toretto cares about family.
Why is Mars red and not orange? Because it would be too bright.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Not to get home, that's for sure.
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
Why do orphans not buy a keyboard? Because they can’t use the home button.
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
What do Hiroshima and Herobrine have in common?
They're not heroes.
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
Why do orphans not play sport?
Because they need parents' permission.
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
I want your weight, not your phone number.