Not jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.
Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.
Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.
My sister got mad when I told her to say this word 10 times, and she got in trouble, and it was a funny word that she did not even know what she was saying, ahhahaha! 😆 lol
You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?
Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.