What is Santa Claus and Bill Cosby having in common? They both come while you’re asleep
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night she’s back in bed
Me: good night everyone My friends and family: night Me: *gets in coffin* My family: *stares at my friends* you aren't going to do something?!? My friends: *to my family* nope, this is normal.
I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan nah jit trippin you thought i had one
dont you just hate when your the first one sleep at the sleepover and then you hear ''Prank em John"
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF!
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
There once was a brother and a sister so one night it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don't tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks "what's that?" And the boy replies with "that's my pet snake" and the girl asks "can I pet it?" And the boy says "sure just don't tell Mom" and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks "what happened" and the girl said "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it's head off"
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
Why is the moon always hungry? It is almost never full.
What kind of fish 🐟 comes out at night 🌙?
A starfish.
Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!
What did one butthole say to the other? I don't know WHAT got into me last night!
A Vampire Stalks you into a field of corn, The stakes have never been higher...
I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It is pasture your bed time
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore? guardian of the confessional booth
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said "The Mail Man died".
