Night

Night jokes

Condom

    • My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.

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    • Snake

    • One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"

    Asylum

    • There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

    So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

    So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

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    • Snail

    • Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.

    Mama

    • Yo mama so ugly when she played Five Nights at Freddy's, they thought that she was already in an animatronic costume.

    Night memes

    Dream

    • Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

    My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

    So did my friend on the right.

    I had a dream of skiing.

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    • Kidnapping

    • I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

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    • Husband

    • A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”

    The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”

    The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”

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    • Sister

    • Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

    Friend B: "I was until last night."

    Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

    Friend B: "Your sister."

    Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

    Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

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