I have a new joke. My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning
"joe biden's mom is so fat, shes very fat folks, shes so fat imma use her to build my new wall"-trump
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
Spiderman needs to fight against the emos, new movie idea
What time is it when it turns 13 O clock?
Time to get a new watch
Aaaah I really wish Stephen hawking was an organ donor...
I really need some new part to my gokart
News: ook! says an interviewed monkey
why did hitler kill himself .he new the war was over at the beging
Me: Doctor can I get new butt? My old one has a crack in it. Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it. Me: How do you know that?
Little Johnnys neighbour just had a baby he got invited to dinner with his neighbour little Johnnys dad said if. he mentioned ears he will get a spank so Johnny looked in the basonet they were talking about the new baby Johnnys mum said what beautiful eyes that is great said little Johnny. because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses
Why did the chiken cross the road? to get to your moms house Knock Knock you: whos there? Your new father!
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi. I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “ a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills. DAMN PESSI
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink due to my dying first. He said “big games my friend”. He then proceeded to teach us “The greater the Big games the higher the Bottling
Why are New Yorkers so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers
You can play Jenga in 2 place now New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers:) they prolly have jenga tournaments they’re every year
When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too
Why is the U.S so mad about the twin towers it was an accident the pilots where new
As a son I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him, and she don’t want to be with him no more, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny. Then I told my friend girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out, and wanted to co front me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happen then my mom said the same thing happen to me. I came home one day I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job I ask what’s going on. My friend told your mom is my new girlfriend & my mom said this is the penis of my dreams.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
I went home to & I saw my friend kissing my sister I say what’s going on. They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said alright. The next morning I see my friend kissing my mom I said what going here. They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift I’m your best friend. 2 gift I’m your new brother n law. 3 gift I’m your new stepfather. I felt so happy I had a friend that looking out for me.
