Worst Jokes Ever
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.
What do you call an emo friend group?
The Suicide Squad.
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."
Why were the Twin Towers destroyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni and they got plane.
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck her hahaha 🤣
Follow me.
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
Your dad's a cunt.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎