Worst Jokes Ever

I heard you were looking for a stud...

I already have the STD; all I need is you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?

What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees.

Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?

Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!

What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!

I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.

When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."

You smell!

Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"

My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?

A pentagon.

What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.

How to fall down the stairs:

Step 1, 2, 3, 6, 10, floor.

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.

But why is 10 scared? Because he is in the middle of 9/11.

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

Nothing, you told her twice.