Worst Jokes Ever
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half of it. 🐛
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
What movie do all orphans find relatable?
Spiderman: No Way Home.
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks!
Plz follow Freddyfatbear and Daddy cock.
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
Trust.
Cannibals sucking each other's dick.
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
What do pears and emo kids have in common?
They both be hanging.
What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?
It got a bunch of plane.
Why was 8 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a 6 offender.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.