what's flat and great for cutting? me.
Worst Jokes Ever
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.
What did the parent say to Michael Jackson?
"Get off my kid!"
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
I killed a man in '94.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
What's another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga.
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
Why did the blonde have sex with the Mexican?
Because her teacher told her she had to do an essay.
Why can you bully an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
What's WWE called in Africa?
Shadow fight.
You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.
Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
