Worst Jokes Ever
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
What do you call a pole dancer?
A stripper.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
Why didn’t the grape 🍇 leave her family?
Because she loved raisin' kids!
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.
What is an orphan's most relatable movie?
"Home Alone."
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
150,000$
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
It's not a joke.
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
What do you call an Asian that was born too early?
Wong Tai Ming.
Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.