Worst Jokes Ever

What language do Asian Karen’s speak?

Demandarin.

How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?

If their grade was only an A.

How do you know if an Asian is a failure?

Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.

Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?

Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.

Why do high tides come up so high?

Because they come up to say hi.

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.

What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?

I am not registered.

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

Yo mama so old, she was accepted for the museum.

Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.

Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.

Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!

Me: Just like me.

I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.

What do you call someone without a body and a nose? Nobody knows.

* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?

Frisk: One knife, plz.

Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.

Waiter: You eat a knife?

Frisk: Yes.

*Waiter asking for one knife*

Waiter: Here you go.

Frisk: Thanks you.

"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?

Dribble.