Worst Jokes Ever
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What is Beethoven doing now?
Decomposing.
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.