Worst Jokes Ever
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
Your mom is so fat, she fell down the Grand Canyon and got stuck!
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
Where do you take Stephen Hawking: to the hospital, or PC World?
What’s Steven Hawking's fav[orite] food?
WiFi chips or his shoulder?
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He didn't pay his electricity bills.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
Come on guys, this is nasty, he was my uncle, ffs :(
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
Yo mama is so poor, she asked a homeless guy for money.
Yo momma so dumb, she washes her dishes in the river.