You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
What's two lesbians in a tent?
A finger hut.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs ??? Rosa Parks Lol
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
Have you seen the new movie "Constipated"?
No, it hasn't come out yet.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
Who is Stephen Hawking?
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
I met him once, but he wouldn’t give me his autograph!
Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
