What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.
I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.
Yo mama so stupid, she said, "Where are my gifts?" on Father's Day.
Yo mama is so ugly Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix that!"
What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...
A swan, a goose, and a penguin walked into a bar... I ducked.
F*ck my ass.
1 + 1 = window.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because seven eight (ate) nine.
Here's a joke... you.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
Why's missy Shaw such a slug? Because she's obese. Hahahahahaha!
Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!
What is 2+2? Fish.
What's the difference between a gay guy and an oven?
An oven doesn't fart when you take your meat out.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
One apple a day keeps the doctor away; not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
