Worst Jokes Ever
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
"Fuck me."
That's what she said.
My friend was annoying me with bird puns. I realized toucan play at this game.
What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
What's black and has wheels? Black wheels.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?
I’m thursty (Thursday).