Worst Jokes Ever
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
Yo mama is so ugly, when there was a tornado, the tornado refused to suck her up.
Man in boxers leads policeman on brief chase.
Kids?
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
Why do Asians don’t wear contacts? Cause they can’t fitt.
A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."
Trump.
Yo mama's so stupid, she had a staring contest with a mirror.
A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!
Yo mama is so fat, when she took a walk, she made an earthquake!
I’ve two dogs and two cats, and they are all Democrats. They want a handout everyday.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH.
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Because he was a Quackhead.
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
The Homo Sexual was a direct descendant of the Homo Genital Erectus, which went extinct in 2037 for being easily offended and its unwillingness to breed.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.