Worst Jokes Ever
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
"Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."
Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?
Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?
Tyler: Pineapple
Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.
Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?
Frankie: Right now.
Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?
Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.
Tyler: I thought you never asked.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starts, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus, you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.