Worst Jokes Ever
Your mum gay. LOL. Funny me!
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!).
As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interviewed by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end.
Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven.
He says to the first nun: "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man?"
Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: "Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven."
St. Peter says: "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently.
"Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says.
Sister Bernadette asks: "What is it?" A little annoyed.
Sister Carmel says: "Do you mind if we swap places"?
Sister Bernadette replies: "What for"?
Sister Carmel says: "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there!"
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.
Fuck you!
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
When you send nudes to your Roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone...
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
Beau Ruse is Gay.
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.
Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
Yo mama so stupid!
She bought a spoon... TO THE SUPERBOWL!
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered A minor (get it, like the chord A minor)?
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.