Worst Jokes Ever

Two baby seals walk into a club.

How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, cause they'll screw anything.

How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.

Dracula was invited to a BBQ. He got stake.

I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.

What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?

Korn Flakes.

What makes suicide illegal?

Getting caught.

What's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley!

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.

I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!

My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!

I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*

I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!

Hey Jonny, you can buy a...

Pun o' chips at the store!

What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?

WATCH OUT!!!

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

The earth is flat.

What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?

Dead mooves.