Worst Jokes Ever

I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.

Ur mom.

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

what did the banana say to the banana?

"u look a-pealing"

Titanic was sinking.

Passenger: "How far are we from land?"

Captain: "Two miles."

Passenger: "Which direction?"

Captain: "Down."

Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.

You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.

According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.

Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!

Dad: You are one.

Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)

Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.

Murder: Wanna play a game?

Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)

Someone asked me where to find de wae?

I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.

I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

The Windows XP log out sound.

The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.

What did the man's dick say to the man?

I just can't "hand"le it!

Where did Sally go after the explosion?

Everywhere.

What’s the difference between women and condoms?

There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.

There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."

What does your mom and a slinky have in common?

They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.

I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.