Worst Jokes Ever

A German went to France for a holiday, and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."

So my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a ‘single’ joke. Then she said, "Go and f***ing die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF I will break his body for you. Happy now?"

She said, "Sniff, yes."

So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"

She said, "*sniff* yes."

There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.

It crashed in a cemetery.

They recovered 500 bodies.

Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?

A rock can break a glass ceiling.

What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?

Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...

Why did the feminist kill herself?

Because she was TRIGGERED.

- Hey, are you single?

- No, I'm album.

Why did the egg cross the road?

'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!

What do you call a router in a thong?

CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)

What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?

When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.

God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.

There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."

"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."

What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.

Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.

Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?

He could not get up the stairs?

Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"

Heil Kyle!