Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.
Does anyone else like Tacos? C'mon let's Taco 'bout it!!! :p Hey, Tacos are made of atoms too......
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
What do cows eat for breakfast?? Steer cereal.
My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.
Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”
Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”
Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”
Ex-girlfriend: “20!”
Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."
Stairs.
Stephen Hawking can't stand stairs.
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
My dad hits me :(
I like my women like I like my wine.
Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.
I like my women like I like my eggs.
Beaten against a table until her insides come out.
My wife and I were at the park with our little princess today.
We decided to go back home, then some jerk had the nerve to shout, "Stop those two! They have my daughter!"
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.
She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Steve!"
"Steve who?"
Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's has reached a point where she can no longer remember him.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.