Worst Jokes Ever
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
I slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.
What do you call a bad bull?
A bully.
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
Wanna hear the car joke?
Nah, it's too fast for you.