Worst Jokes Ever
Why are women like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...
Why did potassium draw a tear that would result in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon.
A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.
The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"
He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."
They eat them, jump off, and die.
He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
What kind of knight puts dumb jokes on the internet?
You!
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
What do you call a dick that's too small to see?
Tick-tack dick.
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.
One day, this dad and his son went to a basketball factory, and the son said, "I want to buy some balls." The dad said, "What for?" The son said, "So you can have some balls."
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?
"I'm stronger than you."
Stephen Hawking walked to the shop.
I lied 😄
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.