Worst Jokes Ever
Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
I got hit by a bus.
But the bus was my ex.
Yo' mama is so stanky, her Sure deodorant got confused and her Secret deodorant told on her.
My life.
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
Me: Hey Jim!
Jim: I'm now a cannibal.
Me: WAIT, JIM! N-
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead and so are you.
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.
A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.
After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.
After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
A man walks up to a priest. The man says, "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says, "No, you are not my son." The man says, "Follow me." The man walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back!"
You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!