Worst Jokes Ever
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
So I asked a Chinese woman for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight."
Her friend said "No, it's 666-3629."
Bruh bruh the bruh run bruh stop bruh hi bruh.
Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?
A: An airport.
Suck my ass, guys!
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
Why is James depressed?........ because he's a bitch.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He went to his brother, who was playing with a Superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered "SUPERMAN!!!". Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said, "in the Barbie Dream House!" Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said, "Olé Olé Olé!!!". The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!", the teacher boomed. "Superman", the boy replied. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!", the teacher continued. "In the Barbie Dream House" "GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!" "OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!", the boy chanted on his was down the hall.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.