Worst Jokes Ever
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
What do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?
You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me when he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
Top ten dog breeds:
10. Dogs
9. Are
8. Beautiful
7. Animals
6. And
5. Judgement
3. Is
2. Cruel
1. Dachshund
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?
A penis always goes in the hole.
Was ist der Lieblingssport eines Deutschen?
gamer
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
There was a cleaning lady with a vacuum cleaner. She sucked!