Worst Jokes Ever
I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?
ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.
Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.
Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy," to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, I'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy."
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Can you see me?
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
You all suck!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find his parents.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged.
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.