Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!

I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!

My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"

Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?

What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

what did the pedophile say to the kid?

"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."

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    • Who are the fastest readers in the world?

    9/11 victims of course, they went through 89 stories in only 5 minutes!

    Joke 1) 9/11 was such a tragedy... Two drunk people drove a plane into a building.

    Joke 2) If 6-2=4, why are there no more towers?

    Joke 3) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.

    Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.

    My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower. Thanks, Phil!

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    • My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

    My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

    A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."

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    • When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

    “I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

    When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

    Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

    The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.

    You know those paper families you cut out?

    Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.