Worst Jokes Ever
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
The earth is not round.
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Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
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What do you call a black hole?
Butt hole.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What do you call a boy in your mom?
Your dad.
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
You suck!
A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.
If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).
Past, present, and future walked into a bar... things got tense :). Pls send help, yet once again :).
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.