Worst Jokes Ever
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.
Jnnnnnnnnnnnjjjjjjjjjooooooojjkk.
What do emos and apples have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What do you call a pun that's bad? A bad pun.
At my most fear, I shit my pants.
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”
Why can’t he just speak plain English?
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.
The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
Why though?
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
Where does a girl with one leg work?
IHOP.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
Never break someone’s heart, they only have one.
Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"
"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"