Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He went to his brother, who was playing with a Superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered "SUPERMAN!!!". Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said, "in the Barbie Dream House!" Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said, "Olé Olé Olé!!!". The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!", the teacher boomed. "Superman", the boy replied. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!", the teacher continued. "In the Barbie Dream House" "GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!" "OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!", the boy chanted on his was down the hall.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
If water makes you laugh, then jokes make you pee.
When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.
Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson?
Because it is a family company. 😂 😂
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona?
A Cor-owner.
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
When a person is thinking of a high number in Roblox
-smashes keyboard-
Steven Hawking's death, you should've gotten a case.
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.