Worst Jokes Ever

Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!

Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?

Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?

A: It rises every morning.

(Bob holds Deric's neck)

Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"

What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?

It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!

How do u catch a tame rabbit?

The tame way.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

You-neak up on it.

I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.

So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!

I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.

Why did the sun go to church?

Because it needs Jesus.

What do you call a broken chicken?

A broken chicken.

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.

Doctor: I see your point!

God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?

What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!

[God creating a jellyfish]

God: How about an evil bag?

[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?

[god creating alligators]

God: See that log?

Angel: Yes...?

God: Now fill it with teeth.

Angel: Say again?

God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!

[God creating sharks]

God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.

Angel: Seems excessive but ok.

God: And make them mean as hell.

Angel: WTF y.

God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.

Angel:...

God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.

Angel: Why do I still work for you?

God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.

Last night I slipped on a banana.

My friend said it was a-peeling!

Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?

A: He doesn't have the guts for it.

A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!