What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
A: The homepage.
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."
What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.
WALL-E
Follow me on Twitch at AKA_Benjamin.
Yo mama so fat, she da iceburg.
Yo mama so fat She the ice burgg
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
A burrito walked off a building.
Why does my mum eat carrots?
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!
A paraplegic walks into a bar...
It's funny because he can't walk.
