I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!
I ass big ass you :-)
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia, fuck!
I got hit with a can of soda. It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.
If you're bored, hump Danny and fuck him. What is he, goons do fuck rock?
Have you ever stepped in Stephen hawking house? Nether has he.
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
Yo Mama So Ugly When She Entered The Scare Factory She Came Out With a Job Application
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Ice cream is just like I scream.
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
Why did the cow cross the road ? TO PROVE HE WASN'T A CHICKEN.
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
