Worst Jokes Ever
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
Shoot.
A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.
What is a redneck's favorite color?
Blue.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?
Still no idea. 😂
Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^
What's the difference between a priest and a zit?
A: One waits until you're twelve to cum on your face.
Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0
Student: 69 gay = xxx
Teacher: You're out!!!
Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*
😂😂😂😂
Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever 👌😂
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?