Want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense???
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
Ines.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?
Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.
How do you spot an English man in Quebec?
A square head.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
Roses are black, violets are black.
I’m colorblind.
I heard they're making a film about Jimmy Savile, it's a very touchy subject.
I heard the film about is so boring it puts you to sleep.
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fall off.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
I like my women how I like my wine.
Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIIIIDE!!!
What made people mad?
Planes in Fortnite Battle Royale!
What do you call an orphan? Batman.
