Worst Jokes Ever
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.
Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."
What is Thanos's favorite video game?
Pokémon Snap.
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs closed.
How does he go for a poo? He logs out.
My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
What did the beaver say to his son?
Dam, son.
Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
What's the best thing about beating up orphans?
They can't tell their parents.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).