Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
Yo' mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a haystack.
Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
Q: What do you call a clean idiot?
A: Soap on a Dope.
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
What do you call a man with rubber toes??
Roberto
Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Yo' mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
