Worst Jokes Ever
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
What is your favorite name?
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk, and a tree 🌳 cannot walk.
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.
What time is it when you say, "Wake up?"
It is morning.
What is your favorite time of day?
What is a nut that says, "What is your favorite name?"
A magic nut.
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
Why did the boy not cross the road?
Because he was on thin ice.
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...
There was a woman sitting with me.
I had to leave until she pointed at something—it was my butt.
I was confused until it was her turn for truth or dare.
Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,
'Cause she was transgender.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
"Scoop pa tun manaa?"
What's an orphan's favorite food? Nothing, they can't afford it.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.