We saved a Swiss flag from a house fire. I thought that's a plus.
A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.
Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
What is purple and whines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
Are butt cheeks one word, or should I spread them apart?
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!
What did Santa say to the rain? Go away!
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!
What did one dog say to another dog? I love you.
What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants 👖
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
"I like planes."
- Plane Guy
Knock knock. Who's there? Hal. Hal who? Hal will you know if you don't open the door?
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
