You a cunt.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
What do you call a cat š that is glued down? A big cluck.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
"Paper is 2D!" said Pen.
"No, it's 3D!" said Pencil.
After Pencil proved it to Pen, Pen said, "Oh, I suppose you're write."
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead, so are you.
(I have no friends because all of my friends play Fortgay, just like my friends all of them are gay.)
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?
A: No steam.
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.
What do you call a burger š with one eye?
A one giant.
What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
I like my Oreos how I like my victims... Drowning.
They say Iām sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
