When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
I'm sorry, none of my jokes are very punny.
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.
1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.
When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.
Bonjour all ;-) , nd here a frog ( French) joke lol.
Qui a inventé le mètre et qui a inventé le centimètre? (Who invented the meter, and who invented the centimeter?)
Answer: Adam à inventé le mêtre, parce qu'il voulait le (mettre) de dans... (Adam invented the meter because he wanted to put it in).
Eve à inventée le centimetre, parce qu'elle voulait, le sentir-metre (centimetre) Eve invented the centimeter, because she wanted to feel it when going in...
You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.
I punched you so hard that I'll call you "Droppy Pussy."
Wanna know what's funny? Scott's low joke standards.
So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?
Because they are always so distant. :-]
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
My grandmother said goodnight...
She never said good morning.
Stephen Hawking's death was because he lost WiFi connection.
Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...
Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
