Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
What are twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs 🍐.
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?
Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent “p.”
What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?
Doughnuts, because they're holy.
I'm hard right now.
'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?
Dark humor.
High school is amazing. Like if you agree!
At an school 🏫 what is your school's name?
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.
Why do men say funny things? Just to be silly!
What can you build with people? A boat!
What kind of number hates nuts?
17.
Why do horses eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
