Chuck Norris told those three men how to climb Trump's wall.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 80 people.
Then it exploded.
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
British MP Sally Ann Hart has filed for divorce citing sexual unfulfillment.
Her husband couldn't fuck her the way her stupidity could.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
LAMO.
Why did the orphan cross the ride?
I forgot.
My life.
Tell me when you get it.
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
So I was walking.
*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."
Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.
If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:
"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?
Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...
I think Jesus is broken.
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
